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Cozmicaztaway
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Name: Cozmicaztaway
Gender: Male
Interests: Battletech, video games, anime, manga, webcomics, music, good movies...
Expertise: Screwing up. Seriously, I take the art of messing up to a whole new level.
Spewing forth crap! I have realised Im am the undisputed effing MASTER of this!-17/4-05
Message: message me
AIM:  cozmicaztaway
MSN: sellyersoulathotmaildotcom
Member Since:
12/22/2004
 True
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| ..fuck yeah.
Setlist insofar as I can remember it after a day and extreme exhaustion (seriously so awesome I'm STILL tired from that thing), so the song orders totally messed up in the middle.
Collapse (Post-Amerika)
State of the Union
Long Forgotten Sons
Re-Education through Labor
Paper Wings
Audience of One (dedicated to opening Act The Regulations.. which weren't all that great, btw)
The Dirt Whispered
Savior
Drones
Survive
Dancing for Rain
Blood red, white and Blue
Blood to Bleed
Chamber the Cartridge
The Good left Undone
Prayer of the Refugee
------------intermission----------
Swing Life Away
Hero of War
Give it All
Ready to Fall
..and I think that was all of it. Details.. whenever I feel less exhausted, hehe.
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| So I've been very, very busy lately, with all sorts of things. School, student union, more school, various other stuff, and it hit the point where all I seemed to do was stress about and end up where people needed me to be, or long for the few hours of sleep I could get.
Well, things cooled down for all of maybe a few days, only to start back up again, and Monday I thought my brain was finally piecing itself together from the stressed out fragments, able to tell which day of the week it was not because of something I had to do, but because it had time to think about these things. I also seemed to see how it would utterly fragment again.
Mind.
Fragmented.
Piecing together.
Getting to grips.
Time.
Get a grip.
Panicking.
Shatters.
Something like that. The original version pieced into my head sounded better, I think.
I'm probably still drunk now. Went to the pub today, was only going to have like a simple rm and coke and then go home and do more work, or anything to ease the restlessness I feel whenever I sit still for more than a few seconds
nowadays. Found good company, and so, a buncha beer, not anything worth calling a proper meal. About the only time I have the energy to relax a tiny bit is when I force myself to, while holding a beer in my hand, because you can't down the thing and rush off to do things, although I want to. I seriously think it's a work injury, and all I seem to be able to care about lately is working, or possibly gaming, trying to squeeze that in, and trying to experience something cyberpunk-ish. Reading Neuromancer at the current moment, it probably screws me up even more.
Even sex feels like a chore at the moment. She keeps calling, part of me wishes I could just avoud going there altogether, and it feels like I'm forcing myself, not like I genuinely want it, anymore. And it's emotionless, from my end, I think. Friendship, acquaintance, that's all.
On the way home, I found myself asking why I wasn't just running away somewhere, if only temporary. Do like Thuna, take a vacation somewhere. Well, aside from the financial bits, because the thought never occured to me. I have to do this. It's what I can do, and if not what I can do, what i can try to do. I'm furious large parts of the time, people claiming things are obvious but they never, ever told me, and they sure aren't obvious. At times I play with the thought of leaving before realizing how incredibly dumb that would be, it's like suicide, moronic and incredibly counterproductive. I'm here in my life now, it's far better than it ever was before, and I'm so close to being something I could enjoy. But I feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes, really, truly losing my mind, and I wish I could keep track of the days, or what my name is, really, and how to do things. But it all seems secondary to getting stuff done at the moment, and that terrifies me, especially when I don't ever feel like getting drunk, really, and all it does is waste my time, and yet that's the one time I don't feel like I have to solve everything, instantly, constantly like everyone else seems to ask of me.
I seemed to hit a sort of manic need to play Shadowrun for the SNES today, despite the game actually being quite poor. I mean, the setting is awesome, but the game itself is pretty shite. Combat is based far too heavily on luck, th plot is weakly defined and the entire thing smells of trial and eror and an incredible need to try everythinbg with everything, really. And yet, part of me wants to be playing it right now. The other part feels the standard exhaustion come, which means I'll drga myself to sleep yet again, nearly passing out from fatigue. And tomorrow it all starts again. And it won't go fast enough, and the spasms to get somewhere and be more efficient will take place. It's most likely a work injury. Somehow. | | |
| Ok, so I spent the summer really bored and with a lot of days where I did absolutely squat, and they bored the hell out of me. Now, I don't have time to be bored, and I do pretty fun stuff, but I sorta wish the two'd mix, so I could get a few moments to play RE4, dagnabbit!
Today, after a luxurious 5 hours of sleep, I got up, nose clogged from that freaking cold that's been haunting me since last week (where I was also in super-high demand.. and instead just played Batman: Arkham Asylum with Ante.. good times), went to school, meet Ante and Robert, we've got the kick-off day, so thus, time to rock. Set up Tekken: Dark Resurrection on two dancemats, then chill just a bit too much lisrtening to awesome videogame music because we were going to have that as another contest, then all of a sudden 2 hours are gone, it's noon, and Ante's off to finish the list of msuic while me, Robert and Åhlen handle a buncha fairly uninterested folks and some who seemed a bit more into it. Yay. And admittedly Tekken on a dancemat is hilarious. I managed to toss Ante, that was awesome.
So while I try and come up with an awesome tourney system for Pass the Pigs Åhlen keeps track of who plays Tekken, and the pub smells terrible for some reason.. greeaaaat. EVentually, i gave up on the tourney idea, and now I'm unsure if people even got points for that one, so cruuud.
Oh well, at least the music part was awesome, and I still have my voice. And yes, Vampire Killer's alternate name is Deja Vu, that one NOBODY knew. Bah, kids these days! Hehe.
I went to a lecture about.. honestly, not a whole fat lot, but I got a nice powernap, then I chilled for all of maybe 20 minutes before rushing up to work on our supersecret project, caught the last subway home, got home at 1:44, tried on the shoes mom bought because the ones I own aren't exactly whole anymore and I don't have the time, and now I have to read a text for the seminar at 10 AM tomorrow.
And of course, Ante pointed out we need to meet at 9 to come up with a gaming idea, I hope they have a plan because that's a SINGLE hour.. we're boned. And once I'm done with that, it's back to super-secret project until I manage o get home tomorrow. Yay... Sometimes it sucks to be so awesome you're in high demand (yes, I lie to myself at the moment)
So basically, those 5 hours last night WAS a luxury compared to now, I think.
Edit: Oh yeah, I also have another deadline for monday.. stravag! The chances of that one happening (I'd love to, I would, but o little time) seam to be slowly floating away to the horizon...
Super-secret bit that isn't yet under an NDA is for Friday. glurg | | |
| "What's the world's most Dangerous animal? I'm gonna have to say an octopus who knows karate."
Saw Stephen Lynch tonight, and well, easily the funniest person in the world, you just laugh so much, and can't stop. he mostly did new stuff off of 3 Balloons, opening with Waiting, and also had some hilarious videos and stuff. I don't wanna say or write too much, but, see, THIS happened:
That's, in blurry cellphonecam style, Rod Cone, Joberg, Stephen Lynch and me. So worth it. Aaaawesooooome!
Plus, a guy who disses Björn Gustafsson 8Swedish comic who saw him last year) just because he's popular.. well, that was just hilarious.
Aw screw it:
Waiting
Fishin' Hole
Dear Diary (from Rhianna, Christopher Reeve and Michael Jackson)
3 Balloons
She Gotta Smile (with Rod Cone)
Special Ed
Gay Robot
A History Lesson
Dirty Sanchez (with Joberg)
Hallelujah
Encores:
Grandfather
Craig
America
Sidekick
And Purple Rain, Freebird, Don't Stop believing.. yeah, generally, the best show ever, and I'm sure as hell i forgot something at the end!
He also does impersonations. They're hilarious as well.
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| Since we're all Autism-aware or something now: The Speed Gamers are doing a Final Fantasy Marathon Week to raise money for ACT Thus far, it's hiiiilarious. Vegemite milkshakes, 'nuff said! | | |
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